Sunday, September 7, 2014

Dónde está mi escuela!?

SOOOOOOOO I am no longer homeless. I checked out of the hostel, and made my way to Barrio del Pilar. I decided to skip the Metro and take a cab. This turned out to be a HUGE mistake, as when we got to my piso, my card was DECLINED. Oh. NO!!! Turns out that in withdrawing my deposit and first month's rent, I reached my limit and my card wouldn't. work. Long story short: the cabbie was pissed, I didn't know what to do, and thank GOD my roommate was able to bail me out. I was practically in tears, and breathing into a paper bag at this point. GREAT start.

After a couple of days I learned the layout of my neighborhood, Barrio Del Pilar. There is a MALL (AIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!) called La Vaguada only 20 minutes away, and all kids of great places nearby. Awesome. Before I knew it, it was the 8th of enero (January) and I had to go to my new school. Thanks to the previous auxiliar, I knew which bus I had to catch, but I had no idea how to get there. After consulting with a nice man at Intercambiador de Plaza de Castilla, I had a list of buses I needed to take. I was extremely proud of myself, because I barely knew what to say and he spoke no English. Awesome! Out of all those buses I had to take, only one was actually running so I made my way to the bottom of the station, walked around lost as hell (LOST, y'all), and finally found my terminal.
...only to be turned away because I had a 20€ bill, and the bus doesn't take more than 10€ bills. Party.
I hauled ass downstairs and bought a cafe con leche, then ran back up to my bus. I paid the 5.10€(DAMN, SON!!!) fee, and we were OFF! I could not stop staring at everything around me.







There was so much to see, that I lost myself in the sights. I was lost in the sounds. I was lost in the cobblestones and people, and graffiti, and mountains, and then I realized that...

I was just plain LOST.

You see: because I am a moron who doesn't pay attention, I missed my stop. I did the one thing I do best: I panicked. In my best terrible Castellano, I stuttered that I was looking for La Cabrera. The driver apologized and said that we'd passed it already. Oh, joy. This is where it gets interesting. We continued to the next town, and the driver wrote a note for me. I was to get on the returning bus, and give the note to the driver that said where I was going. I could only read some of it, but it probably said something like: "This idiot American is going to La Cabrera. Please help the big dummy find her way, because she doesn't speak a word of Castellano, and I don't know what she's doing here. I literally can't even with her, and now you're stuck with her. This is me laughing at your misfortune. HA."
Or something like that. It may have been nicer.

So I get dropped off in the next town with three elderly Spanish ladies, who have apparently made it their jobs to make damn sure that I get on this bus. The first woman looks at my note and says: "Mira... Hay cuatro paradas en La Cabrera. Necesita la segunda parada..." I didn't catch much after that, but I had another moment where I was like: "Wait... I know what that means: There are four stops in La Cabrera and I need the second one! I UNDERSTAND (kinda)! Hallelujah!!!" I was actually able to fumble through a conversation, telling them where I was from and how the hell I ended up lost in a part of Spain that I never knew existed. They waited with me, and asked more questions, until the return bus came. When I got on the bus, one of the women explained my dilemma and handed the driver the note. (She took it from me earlier, making a "tsk tsk" sound as she read it.




WHERE THE HELL AM I???



THE NOTE!!! (You know what's funny? I actually did get the jist of the note. I can read, y'all!)

Fasten seat belt (and try not to get lost again, moron).

I didn't know where I was at the time, I was too busy composing my sure to be famous country song 'Perdido en un Pueblo sin Nombre'. but I found out [five minutes ago] that I was in a village named El Berrueco.  So many thanks to the people of El Berrueco for their kindness. It is much appreciated.

I managed to find my way to my school, and was immediately meet with the friendliest smiles I had ever seen. Everyone had been expecting me, and they could not have been more kind. I had to wait on the English department head, so I was introduced to a few other teachers. Who all spoke Castellano, very very fast. My head = spinning. I finally was introduced to V., the head of the English department, who was shocked and amused (mostly amused) to hear what happened on the bus. We went to the cafeteria and had a coffee, and I was able to meet more of the staff. After a while V. was done with her classes, and nice enough to give me a ride back to San Sebastian de Los Reyes (now to be known as San Sé, because that is a LOT to type. ) so I could take the Metro back to Madrid. I took my first ride on the everlasting Metro [OF DOOOOOOM!!!], and took my tired arse home for the day. I had a big day tomorrow. It was time to meet the kids. Word.

This is how it goes...

Present day: 6 September, 2014

I am back in the United States, and I return to Madrid in 9 days. I plan on keeping this blog up and writing as I go along. I still have so much to post, and I'm looking forward to sharing my pictures and life with you all. Madrid 2: the Saga Continues is about to be in full effect. I apoligise for the confusion as it seems that my blog will be a mixture of old ad new posts. So I will be adding the tag #throwback to let you know when a post pertains to my first year in Spain. Thanks for sticking with me. Take care, y'all.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Musings from a Strange Land 2

Random thoughts from my first weeks in Madrid (and the many places I got lost in):

1 January 2014: 

Who would have guessed that I would be ringing in the new year from Madrid, Spain? Certainly not me. Wow.

Feliz Nuevo Año to my friends back home. May 2014 see you reach the place of your dreams as well!


3 January 2014:

Rainy day in Madrid (Yes, Madrid! Madrid, SPAIN! HOLY SHIT, I'M IN SPAIN Y'ALL!!!). The apartment hunt continues. I have 3 more places to look at, but they will have to be amazing to top the one I just saw.

Holy Shit, son! The bus has wifi!? Sweet!

What the hell is a "wee-fee"? Do I have to pay to use the bathroom here!? That's some bullshit.


5 January 2014

Fancy-pants McDonalds is totally a landmark now. Deal with it.


6 January 2014

What, He wants to buy me a drink? But I already have a drink. I'll take some wings, though.

Street musicians have to AUDITION here?? What, like American Idol style? Do they walk into the room, and there's Ana Botella and some other random ass dudes just chillin' at a table? OMG, who's going to be Simon?

8 January 2014

LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE, KIDS! No matter how many people tell you: "Why bother? Everywhere you go, they speak English.", it is simply not true. Not at all.

I'm going to write a country song called 'Perdido en un Pueblo sin Nombre'.

Listening to Quickie Mart and doing a presentation introducing me and New Orleans. I meet the kids tomorrow. Here goes something!!

10 January 2014

I miss Avon (my cat) so much


******
That's all for the first few days in Madrid. More to come, my loves! 
-K-

Update from the Present.

I got a message asking what was up with the 'Musings in a Strange Land' posts. Long story short, it's the weird shit that goes on in my head, that I put on facebook instead of here [where it belongs]. I returned to the United States on 27 June 2014. As most of you know, my blog is very VERY behind.

I told my friend Gonzalo (I HAVE FRIENDS, Y'ALL!!) that I felt bad, because I hadn't kept up with things over here. He replied that I couldn't write about all of my times in España, because I was too busy living them. I hate it when other people are right. BOO THIS MAN! BOOOO!! ;-)
Anyway, now I'm back home, and back at the keyboard.I plan to use this summer to catch up on this blog, my writings, and prepare for my next adventure. Which adventure, you ask? You will find out soon. ;-)
-K-


Thursday, July 17, 2014

Oh, the Places You'll Go

Once I regained consciousness from New Year's fuckery, and my new friends did fascinating things like go the hell home, I remembered that I was: 1. NOT on holiday, and 2. needed to find a place to live.
I have a job, and I start in 6 days! It was nice that I had time to wander, but I couldn´t keep paying for the hostel. I had to find an apartment! Oooooh, welcome to the fuckery that is looking for a piso (that's Castellano for 'apartment', y'all) in Madrid!

I learned to navigate all kinds of web sites. EasyPiso, SegundoMano, and Idealista, are all great places to look if you are moving to Spain, and don´t want to be homeless. I had a few things working against me - language barrier: check! No real idea where I am, or where I need to look: check! Can't navigate the Metro to save my life: check! I'm an Old, and I hate the thought of multiple roommates: double check! All of this was made even more complicated because of Three King's Day, and a bank holiday that left Madrid locked down like Fort Knox.

My dear mother told me: "Don´t take the first place you see!". With this sage advice in mind, I got on the internet, and started looking for pisos. Thanks to the nice woman at the Ministry, and Victoria (the head of the English Department at my new school), I had a decent idea which parts of the city I needed to look in. Many different places. Places with fun names like ´Alcobendas´, ´Chamberi´, San Sebastian de los Reyes´, ´Holy Fuck, that´s how far north?´, ´Do they even have Black People Here´, ´What, no Starbucks?´, Dear God, there´s no way I will ever get Wifi here!´, and ´Is that a damn MOUNTAIN across the street!?´.

Fun times. I went looking for the first piso, located in a neighborhood called: Barrio del Pilar!

 *crickets*.... *crickets*
...yeah, I never heard of it either. It´s north of the center, and I had to walk for what felt like foooooorrrrrr-EEEEVVVVVEEEEERRRRR to get to the place. Especially when I realized that I was walking the wrong way (doh!).
So I showed up at the place, out of breath, swearing under my breath, and sweating like a hooker in Church. Lovely. Remember kids, first impressions are everything! ;-)

I loved that piso as soon as I saw it: The price was wonderful(!!!), it had a balcony (11th floor, but whatever), and it was near Plaza de Castilla (which I didn´t know shit about, but I knew I needed to live near there for my bus to work). I was already like:¨"Shut up and take my money!!", but I had 2 more places to look at that day, and I didn´t want to waste the other realitor´s time. Plus mom said to look around. I knew the other 2 places would have a lot to live up to after this place, and I meant it.

But every time I thought of that piso, I was like:

So ready, y'all.


So I moved on to a place called Chamberi. As usual I had no idea where I was going, so I turned to my new best friend: Google Maps! I will swear on a stack of bibles [not that I own a bible], that Google Maps has saved me from ambling down a dark alley many times!

So after going where Google Maps told me, I finally found 'Chamberi'. And It. Was. GORGEOUS!!

I can not get over these BEAUTIFUL buildings!

All this amazing architecture. Just hanging out. Chillin.

Don't ask which Metro station I came out of. I have no idea.

As usual, I can spot a café a mile away.

I went to the first place I saw.

LOOK AT MY COFFEE. LOOK AT IT.

Why am I so obsessed with these places!?

Random dude crossing the street. I just liked the shot.

I love that I can get a café anywhere.

I know the piso is around here somewhere...
 I looked at the piso and while it was a good price, it was tiny as hell. There was no way I could live there with another person. It was way too cramped. Also, I wanted to register as an occupant in my place. Something known as 'empadronamiento'. This is a huge deal, y'all. If something happens and I'm not 'empadron' in my piso, I can't even get an ambulance to come. I also won't be seen at the emergency room. It's serious. So when I asked the landlord if I could empadron there, and he started with: "Wellll...." Yeah.
To be honest, I didn't even catch the whole excuse he gave me. I was too busy hearing:

Yeah. If I tell you that I need to do little things like OBEY THE LAW, and you start stammering and fumbling: We're done here, son. So after being courteous, and thanking him for his time [of course, I'm not a total savage], I wandered around taking more pictures.



I never made it to the third place. Why? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Turns out: Madrid is freaking HUGE. I took another couple hundred trains [shut up, it felt like it] to what I thought was San Sebastian de los Reyes. I was proudly following my apparently wrong as hell buddy Google Maps, when the woman showing the apartment called. I told her where I was, and she said: "Oh no, you're still in Madrid." I said: "Of Course, where else would I be?" She kindly informed me that I had to leave Madrid, take the longest train ride ever, and go outside the city. You see: San Sebastian de los Reyes is not a barrio. It's a freaking different town, that is still in the Communidad de Madrid. Also, I am a complete moron. Just throwing that out there. It was too late to make the appointment at that point, so we cancelled it. Back at the hostel, the fabulous Jay told me what I was really thinking: Just shut up and take the first piso. So I did. I got in contact with the landlord, made the payment arrangements, and got ready to move. I was no longer homeless! Hooray!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Musings from a Strange Land

Well I need to write, and I wanted to share some of the random thoughts and happenings that pop into my head. What better place than here?

30 de Diciembre - "Twerking in the middle of Plaza del Sol with a drunk Australian. I'm 'bout that life."


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

New Year's Eve!

I was still new in Madrid, so the rose colored glasses were firmly in place. I was loving every minute of learning about the city, seeing the buildings, and getting used to finding new places to go. I arrived to Madrid on 28 December, 2013... so guess what the third day was: NEW YEAR'S EVE!! That's right, I was about to ring in the New Year in my new city. It was still so surreal, and I really didn't have plans for the night. I knew I had to go somewhere, because my hostel let us know that they would be closed, so the employees could go out as well. Pretty cool of them, I think. 
I teamed up with the Wrecking Crew: Jay, Sebastian, Sophia, and Maria, and we made plans to hit the town running. 

We made our way to Sol, armed with Sangria, Tinto de Verano, and of course: grapes. 
Jay werkin' on Gran Vía.

I love the Cmas decorations around town. This one is at Sol.

Here's another one around the center.

The lights over Gran Vía.

On the way to Sol...

The tree in Gran Vía. 

Jay and the tree.

O Hai, that's me!

Twerkin' around... the Christmas tree...

Really, the decorations are quite lovely.

More lights.


When we arrived, we found the police confiscating liquor, so we decided to drink it all right there. Of course, there were more pictures taken while we drank:

























More captions, pictures, and shenanigans in part 2! Hala Madrid!! <3 <3 <3