Saturday, December 21, 2013

Resolución.

My visa arrived today (YAY!!!), and with this comes a startling revelation: This is really happening. I know that I keep saying that, but it is really slamming home the realization that in one week I am moving to another country. I will be in a different part of the earth, with no family or friends, and I will have to make it on my own. This is not the first time I have moved away from home, but the fact that I am going to freaking EUROPE just terrifies me.

I know that I have every reason to be happy, and I am. I am just also shaking at the thought of getting on a plane that will take me away from my mother, my cat, my city, etc. I am trying to research everything I can think of before I go, and take care of every piece of business that I need to deal with before I get on the plane.

It is a lot of work, it is a lot to deal with. Surreal as it is, it is coming FAST. I need to mentally prepare myself, but there is a part of me that just wants to scream. I just have this feeling of panic, or nerves. Am I ready for this?

Well I know one thing: I'd better GET ready. The last two months have consisted of me getting ready to make this move. I have given up my job, my apartment, my current life for this. It is the chance and opportunity of a lifetime, and I knew that when I applied. I applied knowing that if I got into the program, I would accept the position. Still, there is a part of me that keeps screaming: "What the fuck are you doing!?" The short answer? I am following my heart. I am being (extremely) selfish for once. I always do my best to help others. It is time to do something for myself.

Call me crazy, irresponsible, whatever. It's a done deal. In one week, I will be landing in Madrid, Spain. This is the most impulsive thing I have ever done. Everything is about to change. Even though I am afraid, I chalk it up to nerves. Ever since I knew there was a world out there, I have wanted to see it. I have dreamed of this, cried (Oh God, how I cried) over this, and felt frustration at not being able to go where I wanted. I have worked up disappointed that I was not in the place I just dreamed of, and at one point this year I actually said out loud that the only way I would see Europe was in a box. Funny what people say when they are at wit's end.

I think the reason this is so surreal is that I really believed that things like this do not happen to regular people like me. For most of my life I have felt unremarkable, and accepted that my life just was not as exciting as others. In dealing with this for the last two months, I have learned a bit more about myself, and how awesome and dear my friends and family truly are. I know who supports me, and who does not.

Some have said that by taking this position, I am running from my problems. The thing is, what problems I had will be waiting when I get back, won't they? I am not one to run from issues. I take care of what I need to, and leave nothing unresolved. My legs may shake, but I will walk onto that plane. I will learn how to get to my hostel. I will do what I need to do, and I will survive. I always do. If nothing else, I come home in 6-7 months with a truckload of stories. Or I find a way to make my stay in Spain more permanent.

I wanted someone to tell me that I can do this, but I already know that I am more than capable of handling this. If I need help, I will ask. I will finally see the world. I will finally immerse myself in the places I have only read about. On Friday, December 27th, I will get on that plane. I will meet new people, and make new friends. I will change my life and maybe, just maybe, I will find my new home.

So once again: Am I ready for this?

Yes. I am.



Cross-posted to my Livejournal.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Esperando mi Visa...

Is this how Vladimir and Estragon felt? I mean yes, it's a bit grandiose to compare the two, but I'm a Theatre major: What did you expect? Visa, thy name is 'Godot' and I am in need of a dead tree and bowler hat ASAP.

So I applied for my visa, and was told it would take 2-3 weeks. Well it is now a MONTH, and I am still waiting. STILL. WAITING. I contacted the consulate and was told that they are waiting to hear from Spain. That's right, We are literally waiting for a phone call, email, or forms from the Spanish police that say I am cleared to travel. OH. MY. GOD. I am climbing up the walls over here.

Here's the thing: I have just gone through a month of packing, cleaning, and moving a house into storage. I left my job at a TV news station and another one at a nightclub. I gave away ALL of my furniture, and most of my possessions and now I am in Atlanta waiting for the next step: Madrid.
For this, I have endured days of working, barely sleeping or eating so I could be ready to move. I then took my poor kitty on two flights to get here. I am ready to TO THE DAMN THING. But I can't make any sort of move until my visa comes through. AHHHHHHHH!!!

I know it's less of an update, and more of me bitching about my problems. I know that I am fortunate to be accepted to this program, and that I am privileged to be in the running, blah blah blah. But this is frustrating as fuck, and I really need to get it out.

The GOOD news is that my Gofundme page is still up and running. I'm actually halfway to my goal. If you're interested in donating, you can go to http://www.gofundme.com/54txrg and help me not be homeless once I FINALLY get to Madrid! Keep reading, I'm sure once I get overseas the fun will begin, right? RIGHT!?

Sunday, December 1, 2013

¿¡Cuánto Cuesta!?

So... we're still going to Spain. The plan has not changed, although I have 5 days to leave New Orleans and I'm really needing to pack. Now is the time where I find myself without a job, and with nothing but time to pack my whole life into a box, and freak the fuck out. Fun, right!?

Now we take a look at what this really entails: HOLY SHIT Y'ALL, LEAVING THE COUNTRY IS EXPENSIVE!! Between visas, trips to Houston to GET my visa, doctors appointments to get the paperwork for my visa, plane tickets, storage units, I am about $1500 in the red. Oh, and you can forget another month's rent and bills, which are around another $2000. Damn, son. It's a wonder that I'm even eating. Thank goodness for good friends who can cook! Thanksgiving was two days ago, so I'm Thankful for leftovers, which are keeping me going because I can't grocery shop, because I'm leaving town in a few days.

I have learned that I've been placed in a tiny village outside Madrid. It is called La Cabrera, and the pictures are just beautiful. I see lots and lots of... mountains. Huh. Well that's new. Also, it's winter. I hear Spain has REAL winter, which is nothing like the Fisher Price winter we have here in New Orleans. In New Orleans it gets down to the 50's and we are wearing parkas and dusting off the huskies. I wake up on a day that's in the 40s and I seriously consider calling in dead to work. Real Talk. So now I have to look for peacoats and boots. Yay for boot shopping, BOOOOOOOO for snow. Because apparently: Where there are mountains, there tends to be snow. Who knew?

Here I am now: surrounded by boxes and trying to pack what I need. This shall be a journey of its own making, because I'm still trying to figure out what I need to bring -vs- what I want to bring. I have to find a way to get my things to storage, and to get my stuff (and my cat) to Atlanta. This still feels so surreal. Even with the pictures of La Cabrera, and the  newly purchased plane ticket that says: "Yup, Madrid. In two weeks. YOU'RE GOING." I feel like it's not real.

To help me with my trip, I have a Gofundme page up. This is to help me find a place to live, and to not starve in España until I get paid at the end of January. (Woo-hooo, not starving!)
If you feel so inclined, please click here or go to: http://www.gofundme.com/54txrg

Every little bit helps, and as always I appreciate your help. I also want to say a HUGE Thank you to the people at Dark Room Custom PC and Flat Screen Repair for their generosity. These awesome guys DONATED the laptop I'm using right now, to help me teach overseas.

 I can't tell you how good it is to see my entire screen again. Thank you so much guys!

On that note, I shall leave you to pack more boxes. I have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it. If I don't see you in a few days, I'll check in from Atlanta. MADRID IN 14 DAYS. ¡HALA MADRID!
(Also, I have no idea why I can't turn off the italics. I'll fix this as soon as I can.)